there are worse things than


being alone


but it often takes decades


to realize this


and most often


when you do


it’s too late


and there’s nothing worse


than


too late.

Forty two days:

The time it took to go from liking her to loving her

to travel from Southampton to Wellington on the Shaw Saville Southern Cross in 1968

to write the first six chapters of my first book seventeen years ago

to begin to understand grief (every time) and that they weren’t coming back (any of them)

to be a good catholic girl and stop sinning and then start again

to go through two lots of chemo

to make one failed IVF attempt

to grow jalapeno plants from seed

to understand A Level calculus

to write, rehearse, and perform my first solo show

to watch the garden change from summer to autumn

to let a Christmas pudding mature (minimum time)

for the hyacinth to bloom.

Long enough to make an enormous difference or none at all

too long for detention without charge

too long for us to stand by and say nothing.


-Stella Duffy

I just got back from France.
I have new pictures and things.
I finally settled on the setting for my radio play. We were playing drinking games in France and it suddenly dawned on me!
I was quite happy.
Anyways, I have that feeling you get when your holiday is over and you are rudely thrown back into the real world.
I got back around midnight on Friday, and had to get up at 6am for work!
That wasn't cool.
Today I slept in till 12pm. That was pretty cool.
Well, that's all I guess.
Oh and, Miss Killamangiro, your letter is coming soon I promise.
xxx

I'm back!
Completely.
Sunny skies, no more lies.
Lately I've been listening to Elbow, Amadou et Mariam, Flamboyant Bella, Elvis Costello, The Go! Team, Adele, *cough* Amy Winehouse and a bit of the ol' Bright Eyes...
If you haven't listened/heard of any of these, go and do it!
Books I've read recently: Seven Types Of Ambiguity -Elliot Perlman (Haven't actually finished this yet, but it's too good not to mention), The Trick Is To Keep Breathing -Janice Galloway, Johnny Panic -Sylvia Plath, Varieties Of Disturbance -Lydia Davis, Catcher In The Rye -J.D Salinger.
I guess I haven't been reading much lately, but this summer I plan to finish all the books I've been collecting in my cupboard.
I'm trying to apply for a new job at the leisure centre, but I don't think I'm qualified enough.
The end.
xxx

This summer I want to write, produce and perform my own radio play. I will not be writing a book this year, but maybe a collection of short stories or vignettes. Just something little.
I also want to teach myself poetry properly, and then write every single type of poem there ever has been.
Then maybe I will put those into a book too, but I bet lots of people have done that before and it's not very exciting.
But it will be good for me!
I am starting my creative writing course in September - as well as some other courses - and then I will be studying creative writing and journalism until I'm 21/22! of course, by then I will be a famous writer and there will be no need to get a proper job.
dreams, eh?
i can make you mine, taste your lips of wine
anytime night or day
only trouble is gee whiz
im dreamin' my life away

i need you so that I could die
i love you so and that is why
whenever i want you, all i have to do is
dreaam